Another Sleepless Night...

Boy, the adversary sure has been working hard on me lately...as I lie here, in the wee hours of the morning unable to sleep, my heart is heavy laden with emotions; sadness, dissapointment, anger, doubt, about things I have no control over....such negative thoughts can really put a damper on one's happiness! Just a month ago I was filled with hope and now I find myself lingering close to the brink of despair....I have been there before and do not wish to be there again so I pray to Father for peace & comfort and try to remind myself that I have done the best that I could and that I can not take on the woes of the world, everyone has "free agency" to make their own choices and I must not let myself suffer the consequences of someone else's choices! I say in the name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior....Satan, get thee behind me!

Gratitude....

Gratitude: a feeling of appreciation and thankfulness for blessings or benefits we have received. As we cultivate a grateful attitude, we are more likely to be happy and spiritually strong. We should regularly express our gratitude to God for the blessings He gives us and to others for the kind acts they do for us.

“When you focus on the things that you are grateful for then it opens you to the Source of all those things that came into your life that for which you are grateful. It also removes your ego, which is a nice way of getting touch with your spirit. ” Deepak Chopra

I love this quote and this time of year seems very appropriate for this particular topic!
Learning to be grateful for all that I have has certainly helped me to change my whole attitude thus making my life a little sweeter!!

Consequences....

Indeed there are always consequences to every thing we do in our daily lives ...whether our actions are good or bad! Throughout my life I have made some really lame decisions and have reaped those consequences, one example being the bad treatment of my body for so many years, leaving me now (60 lbs. lighter) with much excess skin that I will surely carry as a reminder throughout my days, but that is OK because I had a choice but now I have chosen to change my life and to get healthy therefore enjoying the good consequences from that decision!
That is just one example but there are many more, what I am learning, though, is that we really need to think long & hard before making decisions in our lives thinking about the consequences of our choices, even the smallest choices! We need to ask ourselves, will they help me along in my path to freedom or hold me captive?
Free agency is truly a good thing as long as it is used wisely...I love the recent freedom in my life that I have found by not letting the consequences from my past hold me captive any longer...It is done, I cannot change it, Time to move forward!
Also, I am changing the way I look at people, react to situations and just life in general and this has also helped me to get healthy in other ways and in doing so has brought about many great and wonderful consequences! An example of this, I may comment on a certain subject and someone else make a comment that may be different than mine...my before reaction, 'that person is just trying to be contentious and doesn't like me'....my now reaction, 'Hmm, now that is a different perspective that I did not think about'....consequence, a growing, loving relationship with that person! I still have some relationships that I struggle with but if I can truly learn to love as Christ loves then I know I will find joy in them as well!
Consequences? YES, always....Let's make them good ones!
Still & Forever a Work In Progress....Carry On!!

It is better to look up....

"In order to be guided in life’s journey and have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost, we must have a “hearing ear” and a “seeing eye,” both directed upward. We must act on the direction we receive. We must look up and step up. And as we do, I know we will cheer up, for God wants us to be happy.“Let us remember him, … and not hang down our heads,” for, as President Monson said, “It is better to look up.”

This comes from a beautiful talk by Carl B. Cook from the October 2011 General Conference and really had an impact on my life and may even have been the true starting point of my journey back into the light!
I find that there is so much more to see and appreciate when we keep our heads up and look to the Lord in our times of trials, He is the way to comfort and strength and will help us gain the knowledge we need to align our lives according to His! I found so many things when I started looking up, especially about myself...I find it amazing the things one CAN accomplish when we remove the 'T and realize our own strength and courage therefore leading us to perseverance and success! Keeping our heads down can only lead to sorrow and sadness so it is indeed "better to look up" not only to realize the wonderful gifts and blessings all around us but because if we hold our heads high then we can truly start to feel about ourselves the way our Heavenly Father see us!! Being a part of my own transformation just gives me hope than I can help be a light in someone else's life and that is truly a big part of the journey! So, ALWAYS keep your eyes to the sky and strive to continually learn of Him and all the blessings that are just out there waiting for us to realize!!

Still & Forever a Work in Progress...Carry On!

A million tomorrows shall all pass away....

.....ere I forget all the joy that is mine, TODAY!!

The song 'Today' popped into my head this morning and I couldn't figure out why but then it occurred to me that one of the things I have learned in my journey is to let the past be just that and make TODAY the best it can be....remembering only the many good memories from the yesterdays but to leave the other stuff alone and just think of it as a stepping stone to a better me! I want to strive everyday to be what the Lord knows I am and can be and I am, finally, convincing myself that I am stronger and more courageous than I had ever thought possible! I have been blessed with many cheerleaders along my path who have given me much hope and encouragement, friends, fitness instructors but my family is at the top of the list, and because of this my hope is to share what I have learned with others who are struggling that there is so much joy to be had in life if we can just make small changes everyday, especially in our minds and thinking, the Lord wants us to be happy and find joy!
I love this healthy/active life that I am living now and hope to continue it throughout my days! For the first time in my life, I have a BUCKET LIST and even though I absolutely love to go horsebackriding I have found that I don't necessarily need a horse to get out on those trails...hiking has become a passion as well as fitness and I am also learning to be a runner, even if I'm not very good at it, I will be doing my very first 5K in November...who knows what I can do next!! :-)

  Forever a work in progress....Carry On!

Weekend Retreat

Had a lovely weekend stay at my folks home near Columbus, Ohio while they were away! I was able to help them out with their house & animals and that made me feel useful/helpful! I was also able to watch the complete General Conference, since they have satellite, so that was really nice but even sweeter is that my brother made his usual Sunday feast and it was magnificent!
So, as I continue my journey I realize I have made so many changes! One of the more recent changes that I am working on is changing my attitude about the changes in weather and decided to take advice that was given to me by my sister-in-law, Elizabeth, she says she finds something that she enjoys doing in that season and therefore I've decided to try my hand at hiking and I love it so much and that means that I will be embracing every season for what it has to offer and will be doing some fall/winter hiking this year! I am truly loving this 'season' of my life because I am discovering who I can really be and learning  that I can go beyond what I have ever thought possible! I am getting ready to try my first 5k next month as well! Also, I have learned to leave everyone else's problems alone and let them figure it out for themselves and it is very liberating to say the least! Don't get me wrong I am still there to offer support but am no longer taking on false responsibilities! Still & Forever a work in progress....

It is true...I have been known to wear my heart on my sleeve!

Decided I should pick back up on this blog, so here goes.....

This year has been a wonderful year of growth and healing for me...repentance and forgiveness have been huge stepping stones in my journey to wellness! I feel my spirit getting stronger everyday and my confidence is soaring now more than it has my whole life! I feel that I am breaking out of the cocoon that I have been trapped in and am finally learning to use the beautiful wings that God has graciously given to me! Sure I have met some of the same trials along the way that have stumped me in the past but I have learned to handle them in a different way and have somehow, finally, taught myself to believe that I am just as worthy as anyone else and realizing that I do not need to control anything that is no longer in my circle of influence! The only person I am responsible for is me, this has taken a huge load off of me, "the fixer"! I look at my life through different eyes now and not only am I getting stronger in spirit and mind but in my body as well!  I have worked hard and dedicated myself to complete wellness and along the way I may have finally figured out "which part is mine and which part is His"! I am so blessed to have parents that have taught me correct principles and am thankful to know that I am a true Daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me in spite of the mistakes that I have made in the past! Living my life through my past mistakes was very damaging to my soul and Satan's tool to try and keep me under his control but I have learned so much about myself, that I am indeed a good and faithful servant and although I still have much to do and to learn I am doing the best I can for right now...my greatest hope is to be an inspiration and a help to those who are struggling like I have that change is good as long as the change you make is moving you along in the right direction....when you have learned all you can from the past then that is the time to leave it all behind, no backtracking....I am looking forward to the adventures of a bright and beautiful future...you are welcome to join me!

Forever a Work in Progress...